What did I do ?

This is the weirdest vacation ever ! After my last 2 trips to Montreal which were no longer then 10 days, this time I thought it would have been a good idea to make it longer, 21 days to be precise ! Once again sometimes I wonder if my life is always gonna be faced with choices after choices after choices, at least any one of them makes me happy , well almost ! It's never easy ending something in life, may it be leaving your family to go study abroad, a deceased friend or family member, breaking up , my situation is quite particular , last year when Zoom (the previous airline that I worked for ) went bankrupt, I was faced with a wall, what to do now with my life ? I enjoyed traveling so much that I could not imagine myself doing anything then that ! fast forward to december of last year, got hired by Emirates, excited to pieces, but was not thinking a lot about the 5 year relationship I was in ! In my head I thought I would be coming back and forth as I want to Montreal, and that everything would be ok ( I love to pretend that I live in a dream world ). So, off I was to Dubai, not taking any decision on the future of my relationship. In retrospect there are a lot of things that I did not do , that I would of done, like sending my loved one my phone number, my address, what was I thinking of ? Was I looking for a way out of the relationship ?

My brother seems to think so, when did he get so wise lol It's a funny thing guilt ! makes you do mad things, irrational things, we let it take over our mind conscience body ! Back to my vacation, so clearly in the past 9 months I have met other people in Dubai , as well as my other half in Montreal, but coming here and realizing that our relationship is over, hit me really hard, and I was pretty surprised about the emotions that I was living, totally unexpected ! It's like knowing someone died and only realizing it 9 months later ! intense.

I had bought tickets to go see funny lady Pam Ann in Boston, her first stop in her first ever USA tour, I was looking forward to go see her as if my life depended on it, I rented a car, and yes, I drove down by myself to Boston, about 5 hours drive from Montreal, I swear I will never drive so far by myself ever again ! so went there, and quickly realized that it is as cold as montreal. What is going on in this world, where is that famous global warming ? In my head I was predicting what would be happening to me... went to see the show, and was not disappointed a bit, it was all that I expected and more... next day I had the smart idea to go out on the town with just a sweater and not a jacket or a coat... I ended up with my body being icy cold, and a soar throat ! I had to drive back alone again to Montreal literally feeling like death was right behind me ... I had caught a fever and hit temperatures of 39 degrees centigrade ! I hear one degree more could be fatal ! In between me arriving to Montreal from Boston and peaking with my fever, I thought it was the right time to have my wisdom teeth removed ! lol I must either like pain or misery ! As I'm typing this post, I can barely open my mouth, I have body shakes, soar throat and in the middle of the strangest drama scene the likes of a good soap opera lol

I'm supposed to get back to Dubai this week end, I hope I get well, cause my next duty is to Los Angeles...and Me not want to miss that !

Later .