Thursday, June 11, 2009

Watch out my neurons are acting up again !

So after a day of hanging out with friends, I decide to finally make it to my sisters place where my Mother was waiting for me, but she was about to go out and invited me to go with her at this forum called Landmark, it's my mom and I have not seen her since last november, and my brother and sister would be there too, so there I was on my way to the forum ! I'm this kind of person who basically makes my own rules about life, but also I'm this kind of species who wants to try everything (thus me being cabin crew for EK). So this forum was more about managing life and managing the decisions we take that seem to sabotage our happiness, and apparently we do that because we get so use to failures that we accept them better then risking something that my lead to something better something greater. For example, when I was growing up I used to be teased a lot at school for very stupid reasons, as these same people who made my childhood hell seem to have magically forgotten about it and seem to respect me more , anyway, so because of that experience, I became shy about having friends, deeming that they are all certified backstabbers , liars , ungrateful bastards. And that basically shaped who I become, in my late teen years into my twenties I had a really really cold attitude towards people who clearly were being nice to me ! I would even call it snob...of course I know better now, but that grim side of my personality still makes surface from time to time, specially when my brains starts analyzing why these people are being nice, and what are they after ? It's human nature , we are drawn to people for what they have ! Well I'm contradicting myself, I never once befriended someone because they had something they could bring to enhance my well being, may it materialistic or for social reasons ! so if I think that of my self surely others like me must exist... Now comes my other dilemma, why do I get paranoid when I find some one like me ! To come back to the forum, they say that we need to stop projecting the past into the future ! which is what I need to do, in almost all aspects of my social life and interaction with others, keep my past in the past and trust the future ! if it was that easy, but I'm working on it !

On another matter... In that forum it talked a lot about taking risks ! in example, why not ask that person you like out ? the worse that can happen is a turn down, but is not that what life is about, Qui ne risque rien n'a rien = Who risk nothing has nothing ?

I'm pooped from blogging of all this mambo jumbo lol


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